My level-headed, accepting, tolerant self has observed my overwhelmed self over the last few months. It’s this website. You’d think someone with a fair bit of web experience and an eye for design would be more than capable of putting together a website – but this one’s different. This is my website, my livelihood, my ethos, about me. I’ve had to work through some stuff, I’ve learned loads, it’s been a journey
I hear that word overwhelm often – not just from the lips of clients. Feeling overwhelmed brings out the extreme in us. If there’s an overwhelming task to be done it becomes hard to focus on anything except this insurmountable thing. But the insurmountable thing just gets more insurmountable.
I’ve felt shame, intense, irrational, fearful, angry, frustrated, defensive, sleepless, lonely. I’ve worried about taking up too much of people’s time, I’ve put off other things that are important to me, I’ve berated myself for not being more skilled, adept, clear-sighted. I’ve had feelings of love, awe and pathetic gratitude towards the people who’ve helped.
There is no way this website would be live if I hadn’t asked for help. The people I asked (quick plug for two of them below) weren’t remotely overwhelmed by it – or by me. They were curious, interested and excited. They made constructive suggestions, posed useful solutions, took me for walks, mopped up tears, corrected grammar, listened and provided coffee. Thank you, all of you.
Being on the receiving end of help so recently has been a useful reminder for me. As I approach a client’s front door or office all I bring is my organisation gene, a desire to facilitate change and a relish for problem solving. If I meet someone experiencing any of the thoughts or feelings in that paragraph earlier I feel a sense of human recognition.
And that’s why I love this work. I get to meet fascinating people, who are prepared let me in, tell me a bit about themselves and let me help them. What could be better?
Plugs:
Dominic Danson is a technical web genius and very patient
Julie Bennett is brilliant at InDesign and Photoshop and can quickly put your thoughts and ideas onto a screen.